The Last Exorcism

‘The Fourth Paranormal Blair Cloverfield Project’ err no sorry what I meant to say was ‘The Last Exorcism’ is utterly terrible. The last decent exorcism was William Friedkin’s 1973 classic ‘The Exorcist’ which couldn’t even be topped by its own sequels so why people are even bothering to try is beyond me. Maybe I should have known from the fact it was ‘Eli Roth presents’ because the only thing he’s ever done is be friends with Tarantino and he can’t even do that very well otherwise he’d have told him his last few film were sh*t. Ah but now we have the phenomenon of the supposed found footage to tantalise us with its grainy boringness and that is exactly what this does. The story is quite simple; a preacher answers a letter from a farmer asking if he can perform an exorcism on his daughter, luckily he’s being filmed for a documentary about his life, which is how we get the footage, and off he goes to perform said task. This I will warn you lasts for about a freakin hour before we even get to the bits from the trailer and if I wanted to watch the story of how Cotton grew up always wanting to spread the word I’d have watched the f**king god channel. Then we get to the possession bits where Nell under the influence of the demon Abalam does all sorts of scary things like the splits and sitting on top of a wardrobe, scary stuff I think you’ll agree. Then there’s the ending and that’s that and before you go all ‘the ending man ooh the end was so like, you know’ it was just an out of context end to an hour and half of my life I will never get back.

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