Jennifer’s Body

It’s hard to know where to start with a film as terrible as ‘Jennifer’s Body’ so let’s start by trying to work out who it was actually made for. Well it seems to me like it was made to give 12 year old boys their first hard-on but carrying a 15 certificate they will have to wait until the DVD to enjoy (sic) the riches of this, well I’d say horror but it’s not scary and I’d say comedy but it’s not funny so let’s just say film. The story is a simple one, I guess like its target audience, an indie band sacrifice Jennifer to Satan in exchange for fame and fortune, the twist is that Jennifer isn’t a virgin and so turns into a demon that needs to feed off young boys to survive and that’s it. Cue lots of pointless scenes of walking snatch Fox seducing random school boys and to really get your pecker going there is even a scene where she gets off with her best friend, lesbianism check. There are plenty of familiar scenes carefully pinched from other films, the Exorcist’s bed rising, Evil Dead’s water fight to name a couple but even this can not rescue this cobbled together mess. Then we come to the main reason why everyone was waiting for this movie it was written by new kid on the block Diablo ‘Juno’ Cody and just like bands can have one hit wonders it seems writers can too. The script littered with yoof speak and bad anal sex jokes is so weak it’s almost see-through, considering the writer won an Oscar it’s frankly embarrassing. All in all your not going to get your hour and a half back so I’d do yourself a favour and skip this dross, I had to sit through it so you don’t have too.

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