Slumdog Millionaire

Firstly if you don’t like ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’ then steer clear of this film as it’s like watching a feature length interrupted episode minus Chris Tarrant. Secondly, if like me you have a cold dead robot heart, avoid this at all costs, you have been warned. Danny Boyle’s ‘feel-good film of the decade’ (News of the world) is so packed full of clichés it feels like its trying to reach a million itself. The rags to riches story will melt even the hardest of hearts, the ‘oh look he used to be covered in shit and now he is a millionaire’ stick starts wearing thin pretty early on and doesn’t get much better as Boyle tries to inject some pace by including chase sequences to a thumping soundtrack that consists mostly of M.I.A. tracks. The film is long and boring with each flashback explaining how this dumb kid could possibly know the answer to a certain question, honestly he didn’t cheat he knows because (cue some horrific part of his upbringing which he just happens to now be being asked a question about) of his experiences. But honestly it is so cool when the whole nation gets behind him and the suspense comes thick and fast as when filming the show they have to take an advert break, I was on the edge of my seat (desperate to leave the cinema). The idea is weak to begin with but stretching it out to two hours is excruciating, but he’s only got one lifeline left, I tell you I still had long nails by the end, yep definitely no biting there. All in all a waste of time movie that offers nothing new or indeed anything old revamped. In fact the only reason I can see that this film got made was to once again rinse the pockets of the idiots who made ‘Mamma Mia’ the biggest British film of 2008. Yeah that’s right she can’t afford to heat her house but she can afford to go see this rubbish, your granny will love it whereas I hated it.

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