I’m forever blowing (taxpayer money) on bubbles…

Seriously I don’t know why we f*cking bother anymore. Why am I angry well it’s the bubbles, what am I talking about I hear you ask well it’s a government scheme to hand out blowing bubbles to pissed people as they leave clubs and pubs this Christmas, its supposed to stop them fighting. That’s right folks; there are grannies who can’t afford to put the heating on, families who can’t afford a proper Christmas dinner and children who won’t be getting what they want from Santa this year. Yet there are going to be people, who can afford to go out and get so pissed they want to rearrange the face of anyone whose outfit they take offence to, getting bubbles from taxpayer’s money. Why stop at bubbles? Have the bouncers dressed as Santa rewarding the most pissed up with gift wrapped kebabs and flumps, anyone found in a pool of their own vomit gets entered into a prize draw to win a car, obviously we the general public will pay. The thing is do they really think that someone who is slightly tapped with a belly full of ale and a strong desire to explore their primal urges is going to stop to blow bubbles? I’ve got a sneaky feeling they would rather put someone on the ground before pouring the bubble solution in there eyes. Bizarrely this news comes in the same week that a local council announced that it would hand out flip flops to ladies who are so pissed they cant walk home properly in their heels. Well f*ck me now we are rewarding people not only for bad behaviour for dressing badly, surely the blame lies with the individual, if I go out for a Christmas drink and accidentally lose my hat will I be given another one? But what if I catch pneumonia? The way some of these slag’s dress shouldn’t we be giving out long johns or chastity pants? Swapping their heels for flip flops is not going to keep their legs shut after fifteen pints of snakebite and black. Anyway in my opinion if some overpaid twat wants to go out and get leathered and end up spending his or her Christmas in A& E for scrapping in the street then good and the kind hearted people that work there should refuse to stitch them up and leave them in pain to sober up and desperately wonder why they are clutching a blood stained, empty pot of children bubbles.

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