Sorry Tom what was that?

Scientologists there a wacky bunch aren’t they. They believe that an alien called Xenu came to earth billions of years ago and filled all the volcanoes with beings before blowing them up and covering everything in evil being residue which is still around today and of course makes man do naughty things which is bringing down the whole planet which in turn is a bummer. As if that wasn’t enough they also believe they have thousands of years of past lives to contend with and tell of times when they were seduced by a evil robot disguised as a red haired woman, run over by a priest on a steamroller and spent time as an unhappy walrus that fell out of a ufo. If all of this sounds like it came from the mind of a science fiction writer it did, L. Ron Hubbard the creator and chief mentalist of the whole thing used to write pulp novels such as ‘Sea Fangs’ and ‘Typewriter in the Sky’ before embarking on a career in duping rich gullible folks out of their hard earned cash. The path to enlightenment starts with a cheque and increases the more powerful a ‘Thetan’ you become; there are eight levels of expense with a special ninth that you can only get on the scientology cruise ship which is anchored near Curacao. This floating base is designed to give access to the ninth level in total tranquilly with no distractions and is in no way an easy way to avoid tax by having no address, the scientology boat, 1 the sea. As well as attracting the stupidly rich scientology and its teachings are pretty good at snaring the stupidly rich and famous, such advocators of the so called religion are big names like John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and Lisa Marie Presley to name but a few. But the most famous has to be Tom Cruise who is at such a level that he can fly, run faster than a speeding bullet and father a child despite being gay. The scientologists central practice is auditing humans to see how infected they are with space dust so they can start to cure them, this is achieved by hooking you up to an e-meter, a devise with about as much use as a football coaches magic sponge, in fact a court ruling stated that the E-Meter is not intended or effective for any diagnosis, treatment or prevention of any disease and that it is used specifically for spiritual purposes, so you may as well use a fortune telling fish for all the good it will do. So claiming to have 55 million followers’ world wide and friends in high places the wobbly wheels of the scientology mobile show no sign of falling off yet despite criticism from all sides. Interestingly Germany has taken real offence to the whole sordid mess and even considered a ban on it; well they do have past experience of a cult being led by a complete nut job talking bollocks and look where that got them.

 

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