You are not funny, trust me.

Here’s a tip for you, if you think you have something funny to say, stop and really think hard to yourself if there is any slight chance that someone could have already said it and if not then feel free to go ahead. The only reason I say this is everyone and I mean everyone thinks that they are the most original and witty person on the planet, like they are blessed with a little Oscar Wilde that lives inside their brain handing them umpteen one liners when ever they see the opportunity. For example recently we showed a film called ‘and when did you last see your father?’ now can you guess how many times people actually expected to me answer with when I actually did see my father last and believed that they were the only person out of the hundreds that came that had thought they were so clever to come up with that. Trust me after about the thirtieth time you want to hurt someone and that only builds to very dangerous levels when you get into the hundreds. It’s not just in the cinema either how many times in a cocktail bar has someone asked for a ‘long hard screw against the wall’ or some other god awful drink and honestly believed that the bar man had never heard that one before? They were telling that one in the dark ages for god sake. Normally the rule is if you can think of it and you a) aren’t a famous comedian, b) don’t have your own television show, c) been voted one of the countries top wits or d) have a IQ of at least 200 or more then the chances are its been done to death and you are becoming very close to joining it in the afterlife.

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