Panic on the streets of…

Another night at the human zoo, standing outside work on bank holiday watching the streets unfold, the crowds turning from happy revellers to blood thirsty street fighters before my eyes and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. It’s definitely getting worse, I know that violence has always been a part of the culture some of us have after all not evolved on much from cavemen, but lately it has just escalated and it’s getting out of control. ‘You’re a fat c**t’, ‘f**k off I’ll have ya’ cue five blokes setting upon two, three throwing one onto the bonnet of an approaching taxi while raining down punches, this isn’t Die Hard 5 for god sake it’s a Sunday night in Nottingham. But its not just here its all over, two kids beaten up this week in Lancashire for being different (the girl was dragged round by her dreads until her scalp came off, she later died in hospital) the gang culture in Liverpool that has left one kid shot dead, what the hell is happening? I used to walk to work through the empty chip wrappers and kebab packets eagerly being nibbled at by hungry pigeons, now it’s added to with piles of sick and dried blood splats, stained pavement memories of the previous night’s altercations and casualties. I just can’t see where it will all end. But why do people want to fight complete strangers over the smallest things when they’ve had a beer or two? I normally want food or sex or failing that a nice snooze. I certainly don’t wish to spend 5 minutes in a rumble followed by 2 hours in the company of her majesty’s finest before finally ending up in A&E with a thumping headache and then having to explain to everyone at work the next day why I look like I’ve done ten rounds with Tyson when he was in a very bad mood. It’s not big and it’s not clever, which spookily is a bit like the twats that start the fights in the first place. Another funny thing is that when these fights are not over taxis they are over women and as I understand women are not that big on violence, so if you are trying to impress you could do a bit better than beat someone to a pulp in front of them. It’s a bit like buying someone with arachnophobia a spider for a present; it doesn’t go down too well. Can’t we combine the nation’s love of reality television shows with an attempt to clean up the nations violent streets? Ladies and gentleman I give you ‘Big Bother’ a show where a group of vacuous nobodies compete each week to break up the most fights on the streets of our fine country and even if they fail there is the chance that they might cop for the odd punch, surely that has to be worth the licence fee? 

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One Response to Panic on the streets of…

  1. Chris Pich no T says:

    I think you have something there. Collect all the drunken fools who want to fight eact other and throw them into the Big Brother house. They will soon learn to live with each other and realise that fighting is just stupidity.

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