Lost Property

What is it with people and lost property? I know people can be forgetful but I didn’t realise they could be so anal. It all started a few weeks ago when I received a phone call at work from a woman who was insisting her bag was in one of our rooms, I assured her it wasn’t as not only had staff checked it but we had also had the cleaners in and there was no bag, still she insisted ‘it is there, I left it there, I know I did’. Well not wanting to doubt my staff or show this woman what I thought of her I agreed to go and have another look, so after getting her phone number I did go and look knowing full well I would find no bag anywhere. So I rang her back, I the manager had also looked to no avail, sorry I say its just not there. Ten minutes later a car pulls up outside and lo and behold the woman I was just speaking to on the phone walks in ‘can I have a look for my bag? I know its there’ biting my tongue I show her to the room where she claims she left it so she can prove three people wrong, except she can’t obviously. ‘It has to be here’ she exclaims ‘my whole life is in that bag’ well I long to say ‘you should probably be more careful with your life’. A week later a gentleman asks me if he can look in a room he and his wife have just been in as his wife has lost one of her gloves in there. Guess what, its not there. The very next day the same man arrives to ask us if we have the said glove in our lost property, ‘ its only a fucking glove’ I want to scream as I explain to him that just like I had told him previously it isn’t there and bizarrely it had not materialised in his absence. That said the worst one I ever had was when a lady rang up to see if we’d found her button, on listening to her description of her green plastic button I explained to her that the only button we had was silver and quite decorative, ‘is it nice ?’ she asked ‘can I have that one instead?’. Annoyingly the best piece of last property I ever found was a carrier bag with two grand in it and three bottles of methadone. Needless to say the owner turned up pretty sharp to reclaim that haul. But if you are looking for a scarf I may have it as currently in our lost property we have thirty seven!

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