insomnia 4

Its 5:44 and I’m smack bang in the middle of insomniasville. The wind still licks my window loudly and I’ve even started to drink a bottle of dandelion and burdock flavoured alcoholic drink my sister got me for my birthday in the vein belief it may knock me out. My mind is all over the place. Today was the first day I’ve wanted a cigarette since I quit on the 1st and that was only because I saw someone else in a film have one! They say that television is a bad influence well in that respect it is. I have been on holiday which has consisted of me lying in bed reading, watching films, writing and ignoring everyone and not once have I wanted a drink or a cigarette. I’m back to work on Friday and temptation begins all over again. On the advert to stop smoking there is just one really fit woman and every time I see it I not only want to sleep with her but I want to smoke. Imagine what it’s going to be like when I go back into the real world. I almost wish I had more hibernation time to make sure I’m really over it before I return. You see I know what that add is doing, I’ve stopped cold turkey, will power, nothing, but that’s not good for business so they make an advert for products that help with a fit bird smoking to try and make me go oh yeah actually I love it as do fit birds, no fuck you corporate tossers I can do it on my own and I will. Television and peer pressure are not in the equation as I have proved by locking myself in my room for a week and I have had no problems not doing those things. The only thing I have struggled to do this week is sleep, I thought without alcohol, coffee and cigarettes it would have been easier? I have been proved wrong on that front.

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