everywhere you go always take the weather with you

Weather, I’m going to talk about it as it is right outside my window right now. As I’ve mentioned before I have a little trouble sleeping, a force ten gale about three feet from head doesn’t help. Walls are cool, thick, sturdy and ultimately soundproof, windows are sadly the opposite. People get all freaked out by weather but I’m not sure why, take rain for instance, water falls from the sky, much like a shower, you can get dry from both not only are we blessed with changes of clothes but towels, heating, umbrellas, public transport and shelter. Thunder is just a loud noise imagine if you will an expensive firework or a Motorhead concert. Lightning is thunders little sister, yes a little mischievous, but pretty to look at and harmless unless you play golf, have no faith in your local fire brigade or rubber. Snow is just rain or it will be when melted and along with ice is the only weather people simulate indoors for fun (so stop complaining) I don’t go to the local thunder and lightning rink with a metal rod for kicks. Sleet=rain, hail=rain, flood=lots of rain. Fog is really nothing more than nightime during the day; oh I’m scared I can’t see what’s there, same as during the night just whiter. Frost is the worker and is up with the birds and gone before the students, the early bird gets to see what a frost looks like anyone on an art degree doesn’t. But my friends the worst villain of them all is the wind. Rattler of windows, ruiner of brollys, raiser of skirts, wrecker of tree branches, mover of television aerials, and waster of money spent on a new hairdo at the swankiest salon in town. Oh my friends wind is the one to be afraid of, not content with going straight and knocking things over or loosening roof tiles it wants to spin round in circles and fling cows in the air. Oh wind that cheeky mare its power doesn’t stop at a fast current of air no, it can blow things at you, dust into your eyes or discarded tissues when your trying to be cool and talk to someone of the opposite sex. No my friends wind is the one to be wary of, silent and often encouraging the others by aiding in cloud movement, it is to me worst of the elements. Powerful, invisible and not to be trusted.

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