good nights sleep?

What the f*ck is snoring all about? Where did it come from and who thought it would be a good idea? It serves no purpose apart from annoying other people when you can’t do anything about it, because you are asleep. Cats kind of snore, but it is a gentle and soothing purr, humans on the other hand can range from heavy breathing to full blown wall shaking. How can someone make so much noise with just a nose and a slack palette? Because that’s all it is you relax your mouth and your throat goes all floppy and vibrates as you breathe creating the unearthly rumbles. What is most frustrating about snoring is knowing you do it sometimes but being able to do nothing about it. Years ago they used to say that sewing a golf ball into the back of your pyjamas would stop you snoring, now I don’t own any pyjamas or play golf, that may have been fine is you have been with someone twenty years but I don’t fancy slipping into a pair of hunchback bed clothes on a first date. What that on your back? It’s a golf ball but I don’t play golf! Hmmm sexy. Many a man has slept in a spare room due to snoring and many a woman has denied they do it at all. But let me say this snoring can affect anyone period, unless when you go to bed you stop breathing, it can happen to anyone and yet no one has really tried to do anything about it. Science has no real answer; boots sell a sticker that goes across the bridge of your nose (?) I have been woken up and told off, hit with a rolled up magazine and even dragged into a different room, for something that isn’t really my fault. Maybe the world wouldn’t be so uptight and stressed if we cured snoring and everyone got a good nights sleep? It’s just a thought.

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