bee,wasp,fly…(delete as appropriate.)

I find it amazing that despite my open window being only about 20cm by 45cm that a bee (fly or wasp) can find it in a world so big. Of all the open windows in all the world you had to fly into mine. So said insect flying round the whole wide world finds my little window and comes into my room, but what is even more amazing is that it just can’t find its way out again. What the fuck? My room unless I’m very much mistaken is billions of times smaller than the world and only has the one opening. But can this bumbling little irritant find its way out? No. It just keeps head butting the glass repeatedly. He gets points for perseverance but nothing else. Its almost like you going to the newsagents and then spending a few hours banging into the magazine or crisp stands until the owner clips you round the ear with a rolled up times. The thing is compared to the odds of getting into my room in the first place the odds of getting out are immensely higher, but the little fuck would rather spend the day knocking itself stupid and pissing me off. You see the trouble with ramming your face into a window repeatedly, for sometime, often ends up with you clutching at straws and believing everything maybe a potential window. So the little fucker starts dive-bombing into me and various inanimate none clear objects in my living area. If that wasn’t bad enough it’s constant buzzing escalates and becomes more intense as it gets more frustrated about not being able to find the outside world. Now I imagine its little bee voice going "let me out, let me out or I’ll sting you" as you tentatively waft at it with the latest copy of heat. You’re desperate to get it through the opening without hurting its little wings. "There you stupid stripy bugger" you scream "the window is there" still frantically wafting in its general direction. I sometimes feel it wouldn’t find its way out if I had a thunderbird style roof that opened up the whole top of the house. And then as if by fluke or a small insect related miracle it gently floats out into the summer air and your eyes kind of follow it as it glides away from you getting smaller and smaller, its hum becoming ever so faint and you can just see it go, straight into the open window of the house opposite, daft bastard.

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