So everyone is going on about this obesity crisis hitting our schools, apparently over a quarter of all school kids are overweight and the figures are rising. Yeah, and, so, what, if some kid wants to spend all his pocket money on burgers and crisps let him. Lets look at disaster scenarios, say there is a flood, they will all sink. If we are attacked by aliens they will be caught whilst I sprint for safety through a hole in a fence. If caught by cannibals on a failed safari they will eat them first, thus giving me the chance to escape. If running through a burning building with the floor becoming more and more unstable as the heat increases its gonna pay to be a little lighter on your feet. Now I’m not saying that any of these things could or would happen all i’m saying is I think we’ve lost sight of a popular phrase, ‘survival of the fittest’, remember that one? I think Darwin was into it big time. So if the planet is getting fatter and dying younger, f*ck them, they should of exercised or at least cut out pies. These lardy lumps had it coming we should be charging them double for seats on planes and buses just to cover the cost of fixing floors and widening doors. The only thing I think we have to worry about is them eating everything on the planet between them and us starving to death, as ironically they would survive longer due to a) taking longer to thin out and b) being warmer throughout their demise due to their very own blubber jacket. Fat b*stards.